warning i used the f word quite a few times in this journal so sorry for my language haha

so pissed off right now
i swear to god. . . .people piss me off to no point, first today, i get shit from people concerning one person, who i wanted to be frineds with this yr, or at leats have a hi and bye thing where it's not like they're all i fucking hate u everytime u pass them in the hallway, and that ended miserabley bc apparently i give that perseon dirty looks, which i do not, omfg i swear. . .

Then i come home, and i'm kinda happy/excited bc i mena next yr is my senior yr and i get to get a class ring this yr or next yr =], so i was sjhowing some possibilities to my mom for her opinion and then ti got into the stupid money detial bc the irng is like 300$, yeah it's pretty damn fucking expensive but thats not my fault -_- so i wa slike. . . hmmm maybe grammy cna pay for half, i'll pay for a portion and thne u guys help m eout a bit? that idea would have worked fine

and then it got into, oh well college books are expensive, and we just agve u that sweet sixteen party, and we dont have money and how many times are you going to wear that stupid thing anyway, ask some ppl in college if they even knwo where it is i bet they dont blah blah blah and all that other shit



i swear to god, i couldn;t just stick with the plan to have my gramma pay for half of it as a christmas present to me, no i couldn;'t do that, of course it had to get all long and drawn out and god repeating the same shit oevr and over again

fine!! u win!!! i'm not getting a class fucking ring, i wont get it holy shit!!!!



i guess it's a pretty good idea anyways, bc now next yr, i'll have to pay for my yr book, and for my prom dress too that i'll prob. never end up getting bc of money and i'm not good enough to get a expensive dress, god, i can;t even help but feel a bit fucking jelous, bc my older sis got alll of this, everything, she got a party, she had a prom dress she has a clas ring hell my mom forced her to get one and they paid for it too, yeah sure times are hcnaged but u know what, it's just not fair at all, it really isn't fair one bit, it's so fucking stupid

so screw it

the only wya i would get a class ring is if i miraculously get a job, which i wont bc hahahahahahahahahahaha

u wont guess this one

i'm NOT ALLOWED TO!!!!!!!!

i cna't get a job bc i'm going to b turned into my fmailies own personal free babysitter once my mom get snother job if she ever gets another job, i mean a job is a fucking job, if i had the chance to get one like she doe,s i'd b at walmart, joey's anywhere i could possibley be hired

im fucking 16 i have problems of my own i ahve to worry about college i have to worry about h.s i have to worry about where th ehell i'm going to b in 5 yrs if i dont want to b in a fucking paper box in the city

i swear to god

i NEED A FUCKING JOB

i know my family needs mney

but u know what

i ahve to do for myself

and of course they wont let me

the onyl fucking job i am permitted to get is a babysitting job

and u know what

*laughs* there is no one to babysit aroudn here!!!!

eveyrone/thing is tooo far away

i dont have a car

i dont have a lisence

hell i dont even have a permit and my dad will of course neevr teach me bc he's always so fucking busy busy busy

so there goes that idea

there are kids aroudn here sure

but liek my family does

another sibling is forced to watch the other younger one(s) so basically i am never getting a job, wonderful huh?

forget it, i would just come out and say fuck college i'm not going to fucking college, but then of course i would get hell, and also apparently i would be ungreatful too and a whole bunch of other shit my parents would throw at me if i even dared to say fuck college and fuck everything else

oh

my

god

*dies*

X_X